I separated myself from the group for the night, my ears aching from the constant bickering of Sango and Miroku, that and all those damned ‘Sit’ commands were making my face sore. You say one thing. One thing! I was growing sick of it and needed some time alone, and by alone I meant I had been running for over three hours.

I recognized the scent the moment I felt it, the intoxicating aroma of one of my greatest enemies, and also closest of relatives. Sesshoumaru, you’d been there a while and as I began jumping from branch to branch, hand on the Tessaiga’s hilt just in case, I sensed that you were alone, and had been so the entire time.

“I assumed it was you I was waiting for.” Came your silky voice as I landed in the clearing. “Now I will take what is rightfully mine.”

As you stood there, Tokijin out with the Tenseiga still at your waist, I sensed a hesitance before the expected rush of techniques that I tried and failed to dodge. I could feel you watching as I was hit with more than one attack, seemingly bored out of your mind and willing me not to resist.

I was searching for the strength to fight back as you tossed me onto the ground, the searing pain rushing through me, my eyes half lidded and all I could do was sit there gazing, thinking, wishing, man was I wishing, all of it so bad that all I breathed was you. The very same ‘you’ who has haunted me all my life. Who is attacking me and attempting to seize my life and crush it with your very hands. You who despises me. My brother, I wish I could see your smile; I wish I could read your mind and figure out just how long it will take for you to finally see me.

I've never been able to look at you with these eyes and tell you what I really think, feel, see, and I do see. I see the moon reflecting in your own eyes as you glare into mine, a passionate fire within you cursing my entire existence. But it doesn't bother me, I know how you feel, believing I took everything from you and seeking out ways to exact your revenge, brother, I understand. I’ve baited you all these years with taunts about how I was superior, to which you retorted some absurd comment about being a hanyou, something that still bugs me to this day. But I don’t blame you, even when it comes to our father; I hold respect for you on that account, but my feelings go deeper than just respect.

This never ending fight between us... it only makes me think more on how I wish that I could be the little girl following you around, that innocence that you cannot despise, it would make you care for me, would it not Sesshoumaru? You grace her with your presence everyday, right? Why not me, brother? Why can I not be the one to stay with you and receive your words of praise and contentment? I can only ask as you continue to gaze at me with those cold, unwavering amber eyes that chill my very soul. I can only be content with the anger and detest you give to me; it is the contact I strive for every chance we meet.

When I think of you, my body shuts down and all I can do is think and keep thinking. Your name comes up in conversation and the first thing I do is inhale shakily trying to calm my nerves and spew out some nonsense ‘That bastard!’ or ‘I’ll get him!’ when really all I wish for, all I dream for, all I strive for! Is you, beautiful Sesshoumaru. More than Kikyo, more than Kagome… All I want is you.

I long for you brother... I long to hold you close to me, to smell your silky hair and to feel your fingers run over my body. I want to feel your eyes burn my skin as you gaze at me, as your lips touch mine for another intoxicating kiss; that passionate encounter between the two of us, that is what I long for. That is why even these constant battles, these struggles where our attacks ricochet and our gazes meet, where our bodies move in a mesmerizing dance; that is why I initiate them, I only whish for you to acknowledge me. I only want that one ‘hello’ or that one ‘I’m impressed’ or even that one ‘I underestimated you’ and I feel so elated when I get it.

That’s why, right as you lifted me by the front of my shirt, probably deciding that I wasn’t going to fight back, right as you brought my face closer to yours, right as the opportunity presented itself, I set my arms upon your shoulders, put my hands behind your head, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and brought you in for that one kiss that I had been waiting for as long as I could remember, before Kikyo, before Kagome, I wanted that kiss from you, and now that I had achieved it there was nothing more I wanted out of life.

I had guessed that you would struggle and fight me as soon as I had extracted the kiss from your mouth, and you did, for about six seconds; then there was a sudden calm about you. I didn’t expect anything but rage building up behind that calm, but as I opened my eyes after slowly pulling my lips away, and meekly opening my eyes, I met your gaze, full of curiosity and intrigue, with a hint of mischief and… is that hope I see?

I questioned whether you were suffering from the same feelings as me, the constant nagging of need and want within you, only satisfied during random encounters and then growing stronger. As you leaned in again, eyes open as your lips connected with mine for the second time, I stared into those glorious amber pools and I could tell by that gaze that our first, and second, kiss definitely wasn’t going to be our last.